Monkey Chatter

It's completely normal for toddlers to experience temper tantrums and these usually start at around 18 months of age. At this stage, your chid is learning to express themselves and learning about the world around them but they may struggle with finding the right words or actions. This can lead to feelings of frustration that sometimes manifest as tantrums.

Toddler tantrums are often an indication of big emotions overloading an immature brain.

When you combine your toddler’s want/need for independence with little self-control, it can lead to a potentially high-stress situation and tempter tantrums. Think of a tantrum as your little one’s way of letting you know they’re upset or frustrated.

Even the calmest parent can find toddler tantrums stressful so we’ve put together some tips on how to cope through this challenging stage of parenting:

Establish why the tantrum is happening

The tantrum may be due to tiredness or hunger which can be easily resolved. Your toddler might be feeling frustrated or jealous, perhaps of another child. They may require time, attention and love, even though they may not be behaving in a very loveable way at that moment.

Distract them

If you think your child is starting a tantrum, look for something to immediately distract them or offer them something in place of what they want but can’t have.

A good distraction technique is to sound surprised and interested in something else, for example, say enthusiastically "Look! A dog/cat”. This will turn their attention to something else and distract from what was causing them to be angry or frustrated.

Wait it out

Be patient and focus on remaining calm until the tantrum ends - losing your temper won’t end the tantrum and will only make things worse.

Don’t give in

Changing your mind won’t help in the long term. If you've said no, don’t give in and say yes to end the tantrum or you’ll be giving your child the message that tantrums are a way to get what they want. For the same reason, bribing them with sweets or treats is also not a good idea.

Keep calm and carry on

Keeping calm and composed is crucial (but not always easy). Remember that this is normal toddler behaviour and you can handle it, just like millions of other parents have.

Your child will pick up on it if you get stressed, so remember to keep calm and in control and this in turn will help to calm them down too. You’ll also be setting a good example.

At Monkey Music we’ve seen our fair share of tantrums at class but rest assured, there will be no judgment from the teacher, or other parents or carers if your toddler is having a tantrum. If you need to take time out with your toddler to help calm them, that’s absolutely fine and they’ll be free to rejoin the class when they’re ready.

Remember, your child is definitely not the only one to ever have a tantrum; they are extremely common and part and parcel of your child’s development.